suck it up buttercup

I would console myself by convincing my brain the pain in my body is normal

It’s just another stomach ache smarten up

You’re not really in pain you don’t even know what pain is you’re just a kid

Everyone goes through this

It’s just gas

It’s what you ate

Must be growing again

it’s supposed to hurt just gotta’ deal with it

Wait for it to pass

But it feels like something is exploding inside of me over and over again

Like someone is stabbing me in too many places to count and I can barely breathe

Drama queen

You’re exaggerating

Just wait until you start to bleed

Wait what

would you believe me if I told you these words were uttered by men

did they know any better?

words that are just as loud in my 27 year old head

I needed support not disbelief or tough love

I needed more than my mom to give a shit about me when I was in pain

when I couldn’t paint a smile on my face you wouldn’t change the conditions your love came with

Why do I still fake it?

I knew something was up when I screamed from the fetal position for help when I was 8

you thought ‘suck it up buttercup’ was enough

well it wasn’t and I’m still in pain

your lack of empathy will forever sting

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